How to calm down before a big talk by using your own name
By Yogesh Pandey · 26 October 2026 · 2 min read
Talk to yourself by your own name, out loud or in your head. In research on stressful speeches, people who talked to themselves by name felt less anxious, and their speeches were rated better. “I’m going to mess this up” sounds different as “Rahul, you’ve done this before.”
The two minutes before your name is called
Your head says “I am going to mess this up.” Notice the word: I. That is you stuck inside your own head.
Say it like a commentator
Say it like a cricket commentator: “And Yogesh walks in. He’s done this a hundred times.” It sounds silly. In studies, people who used their own name before a stressful speech felt less anxious, and the speeches were rated better. The effect is real but modest.
Why it works
You do not need to believe harder. You need to step out of your own head. Using your name creates a little distance, so you talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend.
- Two minutes before you speak, say your name.
- Follow it with something true: “You’ve done this before.”
- Do it out loud in the lift if you can.
Source: Kross, E. et al. (2014), Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 106(2).
This started as a talking-head reel. See more at @theyogeshpandey.