Is saying “umm” a problem? The three-times rule for filler words
By Yogesh Pandey · 22 October 2026 · 2 min read
Saying “umm” is not the problem. Counting it is. My rule, which I call the three-times rule: a word is only a problem when it shows up so often that people stop hearing you and start counting it. Once or twice is just how humans talk. Humans say umm.
The person in the front row
Picture a talk with one guy in the front row counting your fillers. “Umm.” One. “Like.” Two. “You know.” Three.
The worst part is that the guy is you, inside your own head. You stumble because you are trying to sound perfect.
Why the banned list backfires
Many coaches give you a banned list: umm, like, you know. Now you are talking and checking every word at the same time.
There is research on this. Experts make mistakes when pressure makes them think about how they do something they already know. You are not a bad speaker. You are a speaker with a referee in your head.
The three-times rule
A word is only a problem when it shows up so much that people stop hearing you and start counting it. Once? Twice? That is just how humans talk.
- At your next talk, do not fix a single word.
- Just say your point.
Source: Beilock & Carr (2001), Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 130(4). The three-times rule is my own.
Watch the original reel on Instagram →This started as a talking-head reel. See more at @theyogeshpandey.