Why nice people get used: the 2 buttons and how to turn them off
By Yogesh Pandey · 22 October 2026 · 2 min read
People who take advantage of nice people press two buttons: your need to be liked and your fear of conflict. Being nice did not make you good. It made you easy. Before your next hard talk, ask: “What am I scared they’ll think of me? Is that fear deciding for me?”
Button 1: you need them to like you
So you say yes to the extra work. Again.
Button 2: you hate conflict
So you nod when you totally disagree.
How the buttons get pressed
“You’re so nice, can you just…” “Don’t make it a big deal.” “I thought you were a team player.”
Being nice did not make you good. It made you easy.
The question that turns them off
Before your next hard talk, ask yourself: What am I scared they will think of me? Is that fear deciding for me?
It is a shield, not a sword. It protects your decision. It does not attack anyone. The two-button idea comes from my own framework.
- Next time someone says “you’re so nice”, ask the question first.
- If the fear is deciding, pause before you say yes.
This started as a carousel. See more at @monarchslife.